06 May Small letter to men

When i was 6 years old i used to do ballet.After  many test  dances, i arrived in the day of the final show of the year.When I was preparing to go to stage the teacher said :

-Your partner didn’t come. You will have to dance alone.

They put me there in front of everyone else and I had to dance alone. But I did it. Present its gold, the past is silver.But both have their values and we can learn.

Throughout my life, my “partner” has not come several times. I went to the cinema, the show, the theater, the exchanges, all my life with my female friends or by myself.

What did I learn from being single for so long?

Besides that nobody has an obligation to like me, my self-love is a daily achievement. Today I have enough self-esteem to say “Hey, if you don’t want me you lost, im sorry”

We cannot wait for someone to come and validate us.Being humble means look inside of us and recognize the good and the bad (to be improved ).

Besides in the “school of fear”, my fear of being single reproved.After my mother´s cancer, I had no longer this  fear.It had to learn to be a fear.

I see everyday on internet stories of hundreds   famous artists  being cheated like Gwen stefanni and J.lo.

Watching some dating coaches for a while i got really tired.In a date if i am too sexual the guy can see me as a snack.If I am too friendly, he will see me only as colleague.

I laugh thinking that i was doing an unofficial  phD in dating.

While I cuddle with my dashund tobby, I thought :time to react.

Tobby by the way is the perfect partner, better than many guys I met.

The other day I saw a dating coach for men and I was curious to watch his videos on youtube; amazingly, it was practically the same advice for both genders.

I got tired of so many rules and tips and decided it was my turn to speak up.

Recently i thought about becoming a dating coach too.First, because im a psychologist.Second, because im a woman.

I thought: i would be rich!

The actor Ryan Renolds said in an interview about his wife Blake Lively: ”everything i do to her is to see her laughing.Including sex”. That was the cutest thing i read that day.

Woman can get attracted by beauty, status, success, but it won’t make us  “Sign the contract”.

We get impressed by the actions, the affection, the caring, the intention of commitment.

Commitment? Ahh this is music to our ears!

And even so, nothing can assure that things go well.

The brasilian writer Fabrício Carpinejar wrote “Sex is body.Love is soul”

In the end I realized that having a partner was not about increasing my happiness, but sharing my happiness like when rains and i share my umbrella. Both get warm.

I hope in this upcoming valentine´s day we all can warm our hearts.