21 Feb About detachment

Hello everyone!Im back after carnaval in Brasil.I relaxed a lot in the shore of São Paulo.

This text is a insight that i had in this trip of 2019.As a psychologist, i used to suffer from anxiety disorder since teenage times.I treated pacients with the same problems that i had, sometimes even worse.And it was a huge oportunity of personal growth.Nowadays i´m better.One day at time.

Krakow, Poland, nov/2019

I remember seeing in the center of Krakow  a medieval instrument of torture. Stucked on the wall, there is an iron necklace on which the prisoner hung, without putting his knee on the floor. He or she died of hunger and fatigue. Never resting.

That’s how I felt when i suffered of anxiety. The lack of forgiveness didn’t give me peace, guilt made me want to punish myself unconsciously. Except that I didn’t gain anything, it wasn’t any advantage. And I only found out late.

My therapist said:

-Loving is not deserving, it is individual achievement. It is a personal process of expansion of consciousness. It is time to surrender to things as they were. We live on the planet of imperfection. We have to be humble, small. And then we rest. Let go of the past … What do you need to change the past? It takes humility and courage to accept conflicts and frustrate your parents. Tell yourself: I surrender and accept, I have limitations and abilities. This sense of accomplishment is childish .Accepting means letting go. I will only have someone when I forgive my parents and I. It hurts! Because he is relaxed, he falls to the ground. On the basic ladder of survival, he welcomes you with open arms, puts you in his favor.

-Im okay, doctor,  in a long time  …

-And that’s peace. Healing means accepting. You must not take the place of judging, because it is dysfunctional. You have to be humble, not big. In another vocabulary: let go of everything that I thought would make me happy.

Each lesson that I learned today it is a scar on my soul. I ask God for more and more detachment. And I deserve peace. And im aware of that.And this is an act of courage, because we have been conditioned to want more and more in  a capitalist society. Today I want the essentials.Be a minimalist in everything.

I say and repeat to myself. It’s gonna be okay. It’s gonna be okay. It’s gonna be okay.

It’s okay. So far as I can write and live.

Title.Centralize.Bold.

Time to write…